Track 7: "I Ain't Mad at You"

2Pac "I Ain't Mad at Cha" Style — Letter to Waleed

Intro (Spoken, warm, no bitterness): I've been thinking about what I want to say to you Not the version people expect Not the angry woman Not the victim Just the truth From someone who loved you And still does Just different now

Verse 1: Twenty-five years of service And you came home carrying something Nobody gave you the language for You did what soldiers do You buried it Built a basement Filled it up with tequila and cigars Called it peace I called it distance But now I understand You weren't choosing the basement Over me You were choosing the only place That felt safe enough To fall apart And I didn't know how to reach you there I just knew I was drowning Trying

Pre-Chorus: I'm not writing this to reopen anything I'm writing this because You deserve to be seen Without being made the villain Of somebody else's healing story That was never going to be me You know me better than that

Chorus: I ain't mad at you I see what you were carrying I ain't mad at you You loved me best you could I ain't mad at you I just couldn't stay in the burning house And pray you'd find the door I ain't mad at you I hope you find your way out Of whatever basement You're still living in I ain't mad at you I just had to save myself first I ain't mad at you

Verse 2: I over-functioned so completely You never had to show up fully And then I resented you For not showing up That's my part I chose familiar Called it destiny My nervous system knew your wounds Because they matched mine Two people hiding In the same house Calling it a marriage Neither one of us Knowing how to ask For what we actually needed We weren't bad people We were just Unhealed people Who ran out of hiding places At different times

Pre-Chorus: I left because I woke up Not because I stopped loving you Those two things Can both be true That's the both/and You taught me that Even if you didn't know it

Chorus: I ain't mad at you I see what you were carrying I ain't mad at you You loved me best you could I ain't mad at you I just couldn't stay in the burning house And pray you'd find the door I ain't mad at you I hope you find your way out Of whatever basement You're still living in I ain't mad at you I just had to save myself first I ain't mad at you

Bridge: I want you to know I don't tell our story To make you the villain I tell it because Two wounded people Calling their wounds a marriage Is a story a lot of people are living And nobody's talking about it With honesty I'm trying to be honest For both of us

Outro (Spoken): I ain't mad at you I hope you heal Not for me For you You deserve to come out of that basement The same way I deserved to wake up We both deserve better Than what our wounds built together I ain't mad at you I never was